


Two Months

by themodelhome



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-28 05:50:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themodelhome/pseuds/themodelhome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the adorable friendship of a vampire and a godly dog is formed, three teenagers act ten years their senior, and an alien girl ruins perfectly good music. Also Karkat is a wimp. Friendship all around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Months

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elemental](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elemental/gifts).



> Behold my first Homestuck fanfic-- so, I am incredibly nervous but excited! The prompts I received were all adorable and fluffy, therefore I tried making this fic adorable and fluffy. I also tried mixing up my wonderful requester's prompts together. Hopefully I succeeded! This was first drafted before Cascade but I decided to throw in some post Act 6 things. And god, this is a long oneshot. Hope you enjoy!

> Your name is Rose Lalonde.

"This is probably not a good idea."

"Quite right and yet it is better than anything else I can think of."

You click the suitcase shut, enclosing every single important looking paper you scavenged in the Strider household. It would not be completely surprising if a Puppet porn magazine would somehow slip between apartment bills and Dave's birth certificate (to which, in yours and John's amusement, scribes Dick Strider. Your dear ecto-brother insists it is a typo-- a three lettered typo).

"It is even obvious to me that Jade is…ahem, not accustomed to a usual human's daily routine. I hardly think--"

"Please Kanaya, Jade may not be the most domestic person of us, but I find her to much more reliable than perhaps, Dave or John. She would actually get work done instead of leaving you on your own or forcing everyone into greasy movie nights." You look up at her, the alien madame's face in a completely cynical expression.

Kanaya's mouth smoothens out into a smile; one of her best genuine smiles. "I will admit, I enjoyed those film viewings."

You smirk, heading towards the mirror. "I have the feeling you enjoyed the close proximity that is required for Egbertian movie nights."

She shrugs lightly, crossing her legs, a light green blur on her cheeks.

You smoothen out your jacket, studying yourself in the mirror. Your mother's suit that you managed to find barely fits you. It took the impeccable sewing skills of Kanaya and the spacy-godly powers of Jade to shrink to fit. Whatever profession your mother really worked as didn't actually needed nice office suits, so it is almost brand new.

The dark grey suit with bright pink lining fits quite nicely along you. You run your hands down your sides, raising an eyebrow at Kanaya in the background. "Kanaya, you are being obvious."

She scowls, covering her protruding fangs with a hand. "Well, it is only us here. Is that not correct?"

You spin around on your toes to face her, grinning with your arms open wide. "Then, my maybe aroused vampire fellow, do I look like an adult. Do I look like a lady twenty years her senior yet just happened to capture her youth well enough to avoid gray hairs?"

Her jade eyes widen. "Your hair turns gray?"

"Among other things." You reply, fixing the buttons on your shirt. You pick up the suitcase and head out, Kanaya following you. In the living room, John and Dave lounge on the couch. Dave sprawls across the couch, feet in John's face. Dave focuses on the TV, flipping through channels far too fast to even figure out what is on. John is wiggling around on the couch, trying to loosen the tie you have spent nine hours fixing.

You clear your throat. Your partners in crime are clearly not as worried about this meeting as you were.

Two months ago, you were a god. You were a Seer. You were powerful, the world at your fingertips, etc. etc. You survived hell bound creatures, communicated with aliens, survived three years with them, and fought a demon with a dog head. You met your dead mother in the teenager form, collapsed on the floor with her in an emotional turmoil, and proceeded to kick ass along side with her. However,

something happened.

A green light ripped through the sky. A couple of blinks later and you were sprawled on the floor of Strider's kitchen, watching Dave sip his apple juice like fine wine.

 _(What just happened._

 _like hell if i know now help me stop terezi from licking up all my stuff)_

Two months ago, you were stuck with your best friends in the middle of Texas. And a couple of a few surviving aliens from a planet long gone. You all somewhat corporate, like the perfect dysfunctional family. John once made a chart.

 **Rose: the mom  
Dave: dumb uncool little brother  
Jade: sister!  
Me: grandpa (for the awesome mustache)  
Karkat: grumpy cousin  
Terezi: psychotic aunt  
Kanaya: the other mom i guess  
Aradia: grandma because of ghosts  
Sollux: son  
Gamzee: clown **

To which Karkat throttled with his own chart:

 **Rose: ~~the mom~~ ASSHOLE  
Dave: ~~dumb uncool little brother~~ HUGE FUCKING ASSHOLE  
Jade: ~~sister!~~ ...  
Me: ~~grandpa (for the awesome mustache)~~ COMPLETE INCOMPETENT ASSHOLE  
Karkat: ~~grumpy cousin~~ ONLY CAPABLE BEING  
Terezi: psychotic aunt LEGIT  
Kanaya: ~~the other mom i guess~~ …  
Aradia: ~~grandma because of ghosts~~ EH  
Sollux: ~~son~~ NEVER MAKES UP HIS MIND ABOUT BEING DEAD OR NOT ASSHOLE  
Gamzee: clown**

And then, a week ago, reality decided to hit you in the face. Or, more appropriately, slam a wizard shaped statue at your face…after just experience a bear attack…underwater.

Bills, oh god, so many bills with numbers and payments due. You were just a bunch of damn teenagers, in a shitty apartment without any experience or knowledge about these things. Might as well still be thirteen years old who depends on a guardian to shield them. Dave insisted that living at his place was the best. Everyone would just think it was just some single mom with ninety children. But with the constant notifications  
that Terezi thought she was doing a favor by hiding away:

 _(you did what_

 _NOBODY T3LLS M3 WH4T TO DO._

 _terezi no  
goddamn it_

 _AHAAHAH YOU FUCKED UP.)_

And you now have a deadline. Pay up or get evicted. Evicted and possibility of being locked up for one of the following things:

1) Hiding aliens.

2) Living alone, underage, at sixteen.

3) Hiding aliens.

4) Accidentally hiding someone Kanaya may or may have not given a concussion to after said someone caught Aradia fluttering about on the rooftop.

And add to the nightmares, John gave a detailed description of an alien dissection from a movie he has seen. You, being the only responsible teenager in the household, dealt with these hair losing nightmares. Alright, if you were going to be named as the mother, then it was time to protect your children.

You arranged a meeting with someone important-sounding, using the most adult sounding voice you could muster. You sort of deepened your voice, basically feeling like a dork. Dave then snatched the phone, his eyes visibly rolling, and took it from there.

You got the boys to come with you, making them wake up at the ungodly hour of 6 am. You decided to leave Jade, just in case a human face was needed. To be honest, you expected Kanaya to do most of the managing.

You clear your throat. Dave and John shoot up. Your brother scowls and flops back on to the couch. John musters a shy grin. "Looking very old there, Rose!"

You raise your eyebrow and Dave sniggers.

John reels back with grace. "I, uh, mean, you look mature and stuff. You know, what we are suppose to do."

Kanaya strides forward, nose wrinkled. "John, your clothing. I am sure adult males are suppose to keep up a fitting appearance." Kanaya straightens out John's jacket. You can see a bit of his face, eyebrows crossed at her.

Dave jumps up. "Alright, let's do this." He looks over, the corner of his lips tugging down a bit. "Where's Harley?"

You sigh. "I'll get her."

"I mean, I'm not putting her down or anything, but serious shit is going to go down when we are gone." Dave's voice fades a bit when you reach the last room of the apartment. There are three bedrooms of the apartment: One for Dave and John, one for you and Jade, and the last for the girls Terezi, Kanaya, and the occasional Karkat. Sollux and Aradia generally have their own, mysterious agenda and Karkat and Gamzee retire to the bathroom. Gamzee stretches out in the cramp shower stall and Karkat is basically tiny enough to lay on the counter of the sink, unless someone is feeling merciful enough to let him sleep on the couch. He hardly closes his eyes so works out for everyone.

Jade slept in the troll girl's room last night, curled up in the pile of foam puppets. Her mattered hair and large comfortable sweater engulfing her frame kind of made you want to join her.

You gently shook her shoulder. "Jaaaade." You mumble into her ear.

"Mmmf."

"Jade, get up."

 _"Mmmf!!"_

"Jade, you promised. You decided to hold the responsibility and now you are breaking this promise. How can I ever trust you--"

 _"Oh my god Rose!"_

You jump back slightly, glancing back. Terezi is completely drowned in the Midnight Crew sheets, face tinged teal from the cold. Her eyelashes flutter a bit.

"Jade, you are going to wake up Terezi."

"Who cares?" She delves deeper into the puppet ass, snuggling into herself. The girl is radiating warmth and cuddliness. No, Rose, goddamnit resist. "Terezi kept _me_ up aaaaaall night."

You purse your lips and sort of plopped down next to her. You shift to your side and wrap an arm around her waist, settling your chin on her shoulder. Jade smiles a bit, her red lips arching. Two white, furry ears gently pop out from underneath her bushy hair. You brush your fingertips against the soft, white fur, making her giggle. You are not fond of dogs but exceptions are always to be made.

"Up," You try, once more, letting your nails drag against the back of her ears. Achille's Heel targeted. Jade's dark eyelashes shudder.

"Meehruarug. Fine." Jade sits up, rubbing her eyes. You make for the door when you hear a sigh. "Everyone is really doubting me, aren't they?"  
You turn and give a weak smile. Jade rolls her eyes. "I will see you in a minute!"

\--

"Don't worry Rose! I've got this completely handled!"

"No problem, I'll keep all your fancy, cool-gear safe from the evil trolls' fingers."

"Gosh John, stop pestering me about it. I know how to use a microwave-- geeeeeez!"

Jade has her hands on her hips, frowning now at the three of you. She is the most powerful person in the universe, not a opinion, not a thought, a fact. She can resize planets, expanding walls to other universes, and shoot down monsters with a rifle bigger than her size. She is Jade Harley and because of that fact, you know very well why the boys are a bit antsy at the fact of leaving her with a group of somewhat equally as dangerous aliens.

John raises his hands defensively. "Sorry, sorry! Better safe, right?"

Jade cocks an eyebrow. The three of you stand in the hallway as Jade holds the door open. Dave leans forward, returning the glare. His nose brushes against hers.

"Terezi licked something she shouldn't have: number for an ambulance."

"911."

"Sollux fucked with my brother's computers and sparked a flame. Number for fire department."

"911."

"Karkat tripped out of the window like the clumsy fucker that he is. What then?"

"Let him deal with it."

Dave nods, looking throughly satisfied. "Good." He turns to you. "Eh, they'll be fine."

You head off down the hallway, stumbling in your impossible heels. John waves with a "see ya!" and follows.

You grip your suitcase and definitely not because you are nervous or anything.

Definitely not.

\--

>Your name is Kanaya Maryam.

You are in Deep Trouble.

One glance in the mirror confirms this. The glow in your face, neck, hands, _everywhere_ is fading away. Now it is dimming gray, an unfashionable hue of dirty water or Karkat's text. The bags underneath your eyes are too dark to be concealed by human makeup. Also, you are starving. An emptiness settles within you, making you feel too weak to walk. Like every movement takes far too much energy, your legs cannot carry your weight.

It is impossible to sustain your usual level of energy. For a while, Rose has been your source of…nutrition, taking an unexplainable delight in the daily routine. She used to be up before you were in the mornings, waiting patiently at the foot of your bed, legs tucked underneath her.

 _(Well, Kanaya?_

 _I Didn't Think You'd Be Enthusiastic About This_

 _Enthusiastic? Nonsense-- I am just taking a concerned stance for supplying needs for a friend. Even if said friend is a vamp-- excuse me, **Rainbow Drinker** , and said needs is my blood._

 _It Will Hurt_

 _The experience would be interesting as well.)_

Rose Lalonde is weird. Even by your standards.

But even she couldn't handle it; the evidence of draining showing it. She was constantly tired, hardly quick to retort or move, and had aggressive spurts. After continuously apologizing to Jade when she snapped at the other hero of space, you knew that using her as a supplier was far too much of a toll.

 _(I'm sorry._

 _No It Was Stupid On My Part_

 _Only Feeding On You Was Bound To Have Problems_

 _What will you do now? Please don't tell me you will regularly feed on random people in the streets because the last thing we need is a crime movie like police scene._

 _Dont Worry I Know Someone_

 _I am presuming Karkat?_

 _Yes_

 _He Is My On Again Off Again Moirail Afterall_

 _Your 'on again, off again moirail' is a friendship whore.)_

And your experience with Karkat…wasn't pleasant. He was willingly, surprisingly yes very willing. But he was also a little bundle of jumpy nerves and random spams which wasn't good for anyone in the process.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" You said, locking the door behind you. He was standing in the 'shower' donning only 'boxers' that somewhat covered his trembling toothpick legs and a terrified expression. His clothes laid on the sink, neatly folded. His hollow, dark eyes were wide and teeth clenched. For an inappropriate moment, it reminded you of the trashier Rainbow Drinker novels you once read, when the steamy kismesis between the Drinker and the yellow-blood reached its climax, having the Drinker promptly snap her neck when the idiotic yellow-blood spilt the secret to a soldier. The novel ended with tearful last words, _Damn you were tasty._

Karkat winced at the click. "Yeah, of course. I mean, you are always saving my ass-- and I'm pretty much useless to you unless you call waving around sickles like a inexperience shithead that is trying for a "COME AND KILL ME NOW" award or screaming out oooOOOOOOOO!"

He lets out a shriek when you gently place your hands on his shoulder. "Calm down," You snap.

"Your hands are cold." He crosses his arms across his skinny chest. "And why the fuck do I have to be naked-- is this a usual Rainbow Drinking ceremony, like making sure I don't have any tattoo imprinted on me to spoil the blood? Did Lalonde have to do the same thing?? Even with my prompt ban against Troll-Human sloppy makeouts, I am kinda wondering what those human have under there--"

You prick at his neck, causing a small jump to cut off whatever bullshit he is about to spew. A tiny drop of crimson appears on his gray neck. "I didn't want you to get any blood spilt on your lovely sweater. It can be a messy process."

"It is a fucking ugly thing."

"It was a present."

"Obviously Terezi and Strider were meaning to mock me, I mean look at that thing."

You glance back at the garment, an identical gray sweater but with bright red lining into the shape of a Cancer symbol. On the back, you remember, there was a picture of the colorful and strangely mouthed man Dave is fond of drawing. **_HA HA ITS YOR BIRDAY YOU PEICE OF SHIT_**

"Look at that technicolored bullshit."

"It is fine."

"Kanaya, your eye is twitching."

You press a hand over your face, clearing your throat. "So why are you wearing it?"

Karkat has nothing to say to that.

You brush at Karkat's neck. "Alright, ready?"

"N-no."

You gently tilted Karkat's head and rubbing at two points underneath his ear. You brought your mouth close, opening your lip against his skin. He caught his breath, arms shaking a bit.

"Hold still," you hummed. You allowed you teeth to gently graze the surface of his skin, the tiny dots of red blood already tempting. The tip of your fangs sunk in and this was the moment where Karkat thought was perfect to shriek again and frail his arms, smacking you in the face.

You recoiled, stumbling back. After rubbing your nose a few times, you looked up to glare at Karkat. His hands were curled into fists, his red eyes wide in apology. Hasn't Karkat been stabbed in the ribs before without much fuss? Surely a little poke along with some burning sensation of pain could bring a worse reaction? His head dropped to his chest, arms back to covering his chest.

You slump your shoulders. You reached out and cupped a hand on his cheek, raising his head to look at you. He's grown, bones and features sharper, yet still a head shorter than you (and everyone else). You gently rubbed the skin underneath his eye.

"It's alright. It was going to hurt more as you were not willing."

"Kanaya, I--"

"Sssh," You brush a finger against his lips. "Now go and dress; I will meet you in the base area. Imagine us leaving this block together-- the scandal that would erupt."

You don't quite remember what happened after, you do remember concluding that using Karkat was not the best plan.

And now you are in Deep Trouble. Who here would agree to a whole…lifetime of being constantly fed on? You pinch at a cheek, watch your returning gray skin stretch. Well, the mirror was pretty dingy anyways. You grab a comb, adjusting it into a new style that covers your face more, generally your forehead. You lean back and fasten a scarf around your neck and take a shuddering breath.

You walk out of the block (or b-AAth-rooom) and head towards the kitchen.

\--

Terezi leans against the frame of the door, glaring into the room.

 _stay the fuck away from my things tz the last thing i need your lady alien spit all over my things_

She had an especially clever retort to that, involving something of a sexual innuendo to see him pause for a ridiculously long amount of time before stammering up to cover his tracks but _nooo_ the cool kid saw that one coming and gtfo'd of there.

Terezi blows up her cheeks and taps the door open.

Aah, the wonders of Strider's room. Well, his half of the room, the other belonging to John with his collection of shitty movie posters that were seriously rivaling Karkat's! But even with that dark spot, it was just so fascinating. _His_ half of the room was colorful and delightfully messy (true signs of a genius), with his strange posters of musical inclined robots and someone tribute to mobsters with romantic labels. His dark red sheets are crumpled and falling on the carpet, with magazines, records, and other little gears scattered around. His precious turntables lay between his and John's bed, almost glowing from the sunshine that seeped through the window.

Terezi tip toes in the room, stopping in the middle where she shifts her feet nervously for one, two seconds. For some reason, there's a prickly feeling in the back of her neck, like Dave's concealed gaze is watching her. Dave grew a fondness of strifing with her after she may or may have not kick his scrawny ass when they were fighting for the 'television' controller device. Terezi had him pinned to the floor, watching his usually calm features crinkle up in distaste as he wiggled underneath her.

 _(444H 444H 444H B3C4R3FUL MR. COOLGUY!"_

eeeefuck)

It made her more paranoid but hey, twice the fun! What's wrong with a little friendly attempting-and-failing to beat the shit out of each other between friends?

Terezi immediately aims for the turntables. Dave obsesses over this strange equipment. She watches Dave at work sometimes, his quick hands dashing across the black circles and buttons and flips and switches. His shirt sleeves are usually pushed up past his elbows, headphones hanging loosely around his scrawny neck. Pale lips slightly opened and lemon eyebrows scrunched up in concentration.

 _(youre staring_

 _1 KNOW!_

 _1 JUST F1ND YOUR D3D1C4T1ON TO TH1S STR4NG3 4ND D1ST4ST3FUL MUS1C 3ND34R1NG CONS1D3R1NG 1T W4S 4 P4ST T1M3 OF YOUR GU4RD14N )_

This memory causes Terezi to bite her lips right now, getting a yucky taste of mint chocolate blood.

 _(woah hold up_

 _did you just openly dis heavenly music that just graced you alien ears_

 _or whatever you have for ears_

 _what is that_

 _DO3SNT 1MPR3SS M3_

 _do i have to grovel at your knees holding up my strange human ipod device for the pleasure of your listening_

 _M4YB3!! >:]_

 _well no_

 _i dont particularly need your clingliness on my gear_

 _you are hereby banned from my turntables_

 _WH4T?!_

 _nope cant reverse this)_

Maybe she can be open minded about this. Even though the music sounds like scratching fingernails against a hard surface or yowling hoofbeasts dueling to the death. And even though it has no taste at all, despite Dave trying to convince her that music isn't suppose to have a goddamn taste use your ears not your tongue Terezi.

If Dave is such a big fan then it must be super cool. Perhaps he could finally try to be more open about some of his passions with her, if she takes an interest in them. Two months ago, Dave was excited when he was showing you his gear until you made an offhanded comment that the music sounded like Equius' workshop. He made a slight frown and didn't bring it up again. Poor Davey.

She trails a finger across the turn tables. She lets a finger follow the lines on the disc, a smooth feeling. Terezi tries to be careful, but the tip of her nail catches the black surface-- leaving a scratch.

Shit.

Terezi turns around quickly, scans the room. No witnesses. No possible accusations. Therefore, no jury to convict.

The perfect getaway.

She is ready to leave until she catches a glance of his strange, human Ipod device. In the spur of the moment, Terezi grabs the iPod and runs out of the room.

\--

>Your name is Rose Lalonde.

You should have known everything would go downhill the second, nay, millisecond the three of you entered the bank. John excused himself to the bathroom, only return to what he thought was appropriate for a disguise.

"Take it off."

"No way! I think it looks pretty dapper!"

"Take it off, John."

"Come oooooooon Rose-- it looks cool."

"John, if you won't take off the mustache this second, I will rip its glue off your unshaven, still prepubescent face, allowing you to suffer a day of tingling pain."

John uses his forefinger and thumb to smoothen out his raven black, Ron Swanson mustache. He pouts, a tiny portion of his bottom lip poking out from the dead animal that currently occupied underneath his nose. It looks so utterly ridiculous and it is just something you should have expected John to do, that you try hard not to smile. It's very hard.

Dave glances up from his newspapers to study John, before licking his thumb and turning the page. "You look like a dumbass Egbert."

"Oh yeah and reading the newspaper in a suit really makes you look old." John collapses to the chair beside Strider.

"Shut up. I am being the perfect adult right now." Dave adjusts the newspaper. He looks up in thought. "Maybe we should pick up a pipe."

Whereas Dave has grown in the past years, exceeding everyone in height, he captured and retained his youthful features with hardly any hair on his face to speak of. But Dave has an intimidating exterior and that is good enough. With his pale hair jelled back and shades perched stubbornly on his face, he did seem to be much older than sixteen. John, though much shorter, has his broad shoulders and more of a dorky adult attitude that could help. If he would take off the damn mustache.

You tap your feet, your godawful heels echoing in the bank. "Gentlemen please. We need to go over our covers, stories, the payments!"

John puffs his cheeks. "Sold whole collection of movies."

"The puppet porn site is still living strong." Dave adds.

"Uck, ew."

"Well?" You say.

John clears his throat, adopting what he believed was a fucking sweet baritone of a voice. "John, bleeh, Crocker, ex-comedian and caretaker of many children."

"David Crocker, happily married to John here."

"Dave."

"We adopt children like kittens."

 _"Dave."_

"What."

You crouch down to Dave's eye level, giving him a steady look. "I am serious." You look at John. "Both of you. This is the real world. We cannot bullshit our way out of these situations."

John sort of crosses his arms, ashamed but Dave lets out a disbelieving grunt. "Really Rose, do you think we can fool anyone with this?"

"At least we are trying."

He sighs, going through your suitcase. He opens his mouth to reply when the secretary calls out your name. Dave purses his lips and the boys get up. When you walk past the main desk (John winks at the secretary who honest to God _giggles_ , causing both you and Dave to casually wrap your arms around his neck), reaching your designated office, Dave squeezes your hand. "Yeah, it'll be fine."

\--

>Your name is Kanaya Maryam.

"Are you sure you know what you are doing?"

Jade huffs. "Kanaya, I'm the human here-- I am the expert on the…human-y things. Please, leave it to me."

You cross your arms, nodding slowly. Jade continues pleasantly. "Anyways, we've worked together before, right? It will be just like catching frogs!"

That manages to get a laugh out of you. "Alright, what will we be preparing?"

Jade spins around, bouncing. "Pancakes! John gave me a quick course on how to make them." She points at one of the storages on the wall. "Please hand me the mix?"

You open a _cah-up-booard_ and see a red box behind a strange machine. Inside it, a stuffed red creature with an exaggerate behind lay. You frown, ripping it out. There something stuck inside the creature's mouth. You take it out and study the electronic you have found.

"Jade, I have an inquiry. What is this?"

Jade turns and blinks. Her bright green eyes widen and she shrieks, chucking the machine out of the window. "Urg! I thought Dave got rid of all his brother's weird sex things!"

You hesitate, not sure on how to form your words. "I touched that."

"D-don't worry. I'm making sure he tracks down _everything_ tonight." She shudders. "Ecck."

You quickly pass her the mix, watching her pour it into a bowl.

You know Jade well. She is a capable, kind hearted being. You find her refreshing, as compared to your little snarky battles with Rose, conversations with Jade with generally amusing and relaxing. You do not have to be on guard around her. The time you've spent with her on Earth have been pleasant, she always adored talking to you and you adored these conversations. Also, if she lets you, you adore fitting her into dresses you design. However, it takes a lot of coaxing and bribing.

But along with her capabilities, you cannot find her…well, responsible. Facts conclude Jade hasn't lived the normal human childhood. She wasn't accustomed to some things and even a day without human capabilities could be dangerous, considering your situation. But you decide to trust Rose's judgement and take a deep breath and rela--

 _SCREECH!_

Chainsaw is out and roaring when you realize there is no apparent danger. You slowly pull yourself out of a fighting stance when you see Jade pulling out a burnt bowl, mumbling obscenities under her breath.

"Fuck, I left a fork in the microwave. John warned me above that!" She shrugs, whistling and chucking the bowl in the sink.

The _microwave_ is still smoking and Jade sighs at the sight. "I might have to fix that!" She grabs either side of the microwave and pulls it out of socket. She reaches for a tool kit underneath the sink, plops herself on the sink counter, and deposits the microwave in her lap, cheerfully working the tools on it.

You lean forward and watch her work with the wires with impressive swiftness. "Are you familiar with a lot of machinery?"

Jade nods, face holding a perfect expression of concentration. A normal troll would hold that similar expression when dueling or when slowly skinning an opponent alive. "My grandpa was pretty great with mechanics! He could whip up any kind of robot for me when I was a kid and was pretty much determined for me to be able to do the same. Even with the amazing things he built, he always called himself the third great mechanic. Isn't that so weird?"

You nod slowly. Jade bites her lips slowly, eyebrow scrunched up as she uses the screwdriver. Her pink mouth forms an 'o' as she blows a strand of curly dark hair out of her eyes. The dark hair flops back over her eyes. Jade looks back up and blows again. The dark strand resist.

Goodness. You sigh audibly. You drag out a chair and beckon her to sit. Jade pouts. "But I hate brushing my hair!"

"Come now."

She moans, dragging herself to you. As she continues working at the microwave, you pull her hair out of the knot she deemed acceptable in any society. "Ack!" She squeaks and you tap the back of her head.

You study the disaster before you. Nope, something must be done because this is giving you shivers. You take out your dutiful brushes and get to it.

Combing her knotty hair was a battle, but soon it is beginning to shape well. You ran your fingers through her bangs, soft locks slipping through easily. Against her dark hair, your hands do seem to be glowing a pale white. When you brush the parts around her canine ears, Jade growls quietly yet happily.

After a moment, Jade asks, "How have you been liking Earth?"

"It is pleasant."

"Just pleasant? With all of the great and new things?" Jade twists around to raise her eyebrows at you.

You push her around, retreating to her hair. "I do like many things, but it's the fact I can rest that pleases me."

"Also the sun!"

"Yes, that is a plus." You allow a smile, rubbing the base of her ears again. Jade lets out a short giggle, leaning back so she can place her head against you. The machinery is long forgotten. Who knows how long you've been petting Jade's hair when you hear Aradia and Sollux stumble into the apartment through the window. You feel your face flush slightly as you bend down to Jade's height. "We need to start cooking."

"Oh…yes, that!" Jade sprung to her feet frantically and gets to work. You watch her a bit before joining her.

\--

"Something smells good!" Aradia pipes, poking her head into the kitchen. With her constant arrivals in short period of times, you are seriously assuming that she is either actually interested in eating or is making sure Jade hasn't burned down anything yet.

Sollux, as always, comes right after her. "Heheheh, what the fuck is that?" He grins, his empty smile and eyes making it hard for you to snap reminders that he had to treat their hostess kindly.

Jade wrinkles her nose, wiping her hands on the apron. "Pancakes, they are delicious and you are now banned from getting any. Nothing for the blind troll boy."

Terezi skips in from the hallway. "I really hope that isn't true!" You raise an eyebrow at the headphones dangling around her skinny neck and the strange rectangular device that she held in her hands. Best not to say anything then.

Jade turns around and deposits a pancake on a plate, handing it to Terezi. "I said nothing against the lovely blind troll _lady_ in the house." Terezi grips Jade's shoulders and crackles a _SWOOOOON_ as she sticks her tongue at Sollux. The jibe is lost on him, except for the slight wrinkle in his nose.

"Urg, I'm getting a nasty scent in here," He mumbled, his lips still moving in a mindless motion. "Something, incredibly lame-- childish almost. Blurg, how much is this piece of shit going to hold, 30 grubytes?" He went on in a stream of his usual technological blabber. Aradia rolls her eyes and drifts closer to Jade, looking over her shoulder as she uses the utensil to flip the 'pancake'. She winks at you in a fleeting motion before snatching one from mid-air.

Terezi mouth was slightly open, eyebrows raised. "Oh? I think you might mean Dave's iPod!" She shoves it in his face. Sollux cringes his shoulders, slapping his hands over his nose. He tries to cower around from Terezi, gasping.

"Oh fuck that's it. Smells like it still uses steel as a component. God I am beginning to wish you hadn't taught me this smell seeing shit right now. This is almost an insult."

You tilted your head and furrow your eyebrows in annoyance. Sollux is generally uncharacteristically chipper until he is driven to a Karkat like rant, usually by the human world's technology.

You lean against the nutrient cooling machine before your eyes snap wide open. "Where is Karkat?" The second part, _And Is Gamzee With Him?_ is clear to everyone except for the cheery chef.

Terezi sits in the middle of the table, crossing her legs. "Sleeping," she said, staying at the meal with a concentrated look, like she was astounded that her remarkable nose and tongue could not figure out what the hell was on her plate.

You raise your eyebrow, a gesture of disbelief Lalonde had taught you and practiced on you. "Indeed?"

"I speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." She said, grabbing for the salt and shaking it over the pancakes.

"Forgive me and my skepticism of that fact."

"Don't worry Kanaya," Terezi looks up and gives her best pointy grin, malicious at best. "I made sure lwittle Karkles is all tucked up in his recuperacoon. He's out like a light, curled up like an adorable grub."

You really, really do not want to know what she did to Karkat.

"Gamzee, on the other hand, is very much awake." Terezi's nose wrinkles. "Perhaps they are both awake right now, cuddled together in some kind of feelings jam."

You somehow ignore Terezi's statement of suspicion; she does not trust the manic subjugator near her Karkat, but you kind of drift off. "Hmmm, sounds nice." The idea of such 'feelings jams' kind of appealed to you.

No one seems to notice but Jade, who looks back at you. Her mouth is slightly opened. "Kan--nya---aa?" She says, breaking each syllable.

You rip off the apron, an ugly rag that Jade previously insisted was important to wear when in the kitchen. "Perhaps I should go and check on him." You leave quickly.

As you walk down the hallway, you hear a sharp, "Wait!"

It's Jade. She skips down the hallway, her wild hair following her. She catches up to you and settles her hands on your shoulders, grinning widely with her peculiar teeth sticking out.

"Yes, Jade…?"

She's already leaning in, her green eyes wide and bright. Her unnaturally pink and soft lips peck at your nose, as tenderly as any lusus to their wriggler. She pulls back, beaming greatly as is she had accomplished something extraordinary.

"Um."

It's really all you could manage.

"Well, I guess I should explain this." Jade says in a hurry, cheeks turning red. "You've been kinda…different lately. Apart from glowing grey, what's up with that though are you sick, you've been sad. And, well, I was worried! So I asked Karkat, because he seems to know you the best, and he suggested that I…"

You look at her. "You…?"

She rubs the back of her neck, looking to the side. "I be your more-ail?"

You stare. Just, blatant staring. Jade starts getting nervous ticks, biting her lips, eyes squinting. You are not sure how to compute this all-- Jade wanted to be your moirail?

If you were going to be truly honest with yourself, a moirail would be useful and well, yes, it is something you envy when you think about troll relationships.

However, it is not a fair relationship. It requires both parties to balance each other out, some each other from violent outbursts. You have been calmer recently and Jade only lashes out when someone wakes her up. Moirails are not what you and Jade are.

You cup her face, pursing your lips. "I have a proposition. A more fitting definition for our relationship."

"Yes?"

"We could be girlfriends."

Jade then makes her stare. "But I thought Rose--"

"What? No, no, no." You look up in thought. "I mean the other term for it; what I have been hearing on the television. Like, _gurlfrans_."

Jade frowns. "There's a difference?"

"You apparently also do not understand human relationships. From what I know, this variation is more of a friendship quota however just much closer and more personal. Just with more hugging but no kissing."

"Like best friends." Jade prompts, leaning in close enough to bump her face against yours.

"I suppose."

"Alright then, best friends is it!"

You mirror her huge smile. Jade wraps her arms around your waist and you press her hands against her back, a powerful embrace.

"Now that we established this." Jade taps your forehead. "Tell me your glowing problem."

You glance to the floor a bit. "Nothing for you to wor--"

"Husssh. Closer and more personal, remember?"

Suddenly the hallway was getting warmer. "Indeed. It's just that-- I've been, well, hungry lately."

Jade gives you a blank look. This morning has been full of blank looks. "I know I suck at making pancakes but you--"

"No!" You shake your head, retreating your arms from the embrace. "It is something else entirely. I have been…not _feeding_ regularly."

 _"Oh…"_

Jade's face shifts into a nervous expression. Her white ears start to twitch. You felt like you have ruined your friendship with her already. Before you can retract or deny anything, she clears her throat. "Well, I'm ready for anything!"

You shake your head. "No, Jade. This is far too much to ask of you. We've hardly even brought our 'best friends' status to a week."

She frowns, gently and slightly but it is still profound. "Kanaya, I am pretty different from the usual human. I am weirder definitely, but I am also stronger. Please, let me help you."

She brings her hands up to your face, combing her fingers through your bangs. You smell something burning, something far off in the kitchen.

"Alright." You say and tilt her head to the side.

\--

You regain your glow. Thank goodness. Dark gray does not suit you well.

\--

>Your name is Rose Lalonde.

It's night and the three of you lounge on Jade's bed. It's the most comfortable of them all, despite being extremely disorderly. There are squiddles, records, machinery, and all of her eccentric interests tossed everywhere and the sheets and pillows are rumpled and stacked underneath Jade like a fabric throne. Smidgeons and streaks of dirt on the carpet and walls as a result of her excessive gardening was also not an uncommonly site. It takes you to fully splay across Kanaya's legs to control her obvious instinct of cleanliness.

You take a more comfortable position by pillowing your head on Kanaya's lap and settling your legs on Jade, _rose your feet smell like strawberries he he who puts perfume on their feet??_ , taking the first deep, comfortable, stress relieving sigh you had all day. You've been questioned on whether the meeting went well or not, but right now, you do not want to think about it. And you also do not want to think about the fire that happened in the kitchen. And also not about the extremely stoic fit Dave threw when he saw his CD was scratched and chased Terezi across Houston for his iPod.

You are sure you will find a few gray hairs by tomorrow morning. No, strike that, tomorrow afternoon. You will be sleeping in goddamnit.

Kanaya runs her fingers through your hair, Jade plays with your toes, and you close your eyes so you can finally sleep.


End file.
